Tuesday, July 23, 2013

The Last of the 5 "Fs"

So, we've gone through Fight, Flight, Freezing and Fronting which leaves us with "Folding."  Just as it means quitting in Poker folding is the same response in a confrontation.

Think of some sexual predator trying to drag a women to his vehicle to leave crime scene A for crime scene B (in this example his house of horrors in his basement). She could fight back, she could run away, she might freeze, she might try and bluff or she can capitulate and go with him which in this scenario would be a perfect example of folding.

In a street fight scenario it might be a bigger, louder aggressor screaming at someone "You, sit the f**k down and shut up before I knock you the f**k out." at which point our victim complies.

There are a lot of very naive people I've run into over the years who mistakenly believe that this is a viable option.  Their belief is that if they do what the bad guy says they won't antagonize him to the point where he'll become violent."  I've seen far too many examples of where the opposite happens and the weakness on display incurs the wrath of the aggressor and it drives him to incredible lengths of violence.

Who can forget that for years the police actually advised women to "fold" during rapes dispensing the myth that fighting back will only make him hurt you more.  Thank god studies have dispelled this load of crap.  I was actually interviewed about self defense on a TV show and they wheeled out a Police Inspector who said as much in counterpoint to my view of fighting back.  He didn't look to happy when I asked him if he went to prison would he follow his own advise when the alpha male prisoners decided to bend him over in the shower.

Final point on folding or not.  Studies have shown that women who fight back during rapes, even if they're not successful recover from the trauma of the ordeal far quicker than victims who did not.  If you want to read more about that get hold of Dr Judith Herman's book "Trauma and Recovery."  She mentions in there that "fighting back is effective whereas conversely pleading, reasoning or appealing to a rapist’s humanity is not - the latter being "almost universally futile," 

I purposely saved this fifth "F" till last because it is hands down the most useless out of the five possible responses.  All the others have some merit...this one, if I can use just one more "F" is "futile."

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